When To Let Go And Trust Your Kids Will Make The Right Choices!
There are many parents who over the last few weeks have had children receiving exam results. As a parent who has been through this once already, it really hit home to me that I will be doing the same thing again this time next year! It’s now a new school year starting and its made me reflect on where my role as a parent ends in terms of supporting and wanting my son to understand the significance of GCSE’s being a stepping stone, and where their role as responsible young adult begins.
I like to think I’m reasonably relaxed but I do struggle with backing off as far as school work goes. I also recognise that the arguments are a combination of my stuff – in otherwords, me not wanting my children to repeat my academic disasters, and also my son’s need to break free and show that he knows what he’s doing.
I’m also really aware of not asking my son to do something that I can’t. Is right to expect him to sit down and read a book, if I don’t do the same myself? Is it right to expect him to go to bed on time if I stay up till all hours?
How much energy do you put into getting them through their exams and how challenging would it be to trust that actually at the right time – they will step up and get the work done? I get very frustrated because at times anyone realises how much time is wasted on mobile phones. We didn’t have those distractions when we were young, but at sometime they have to realise that a phone is a bonus, not something to live your life by.
So the compromise so far is that we’re going to organise a daily timetable that will hopefully create some structure and we’ll see where it goes from there! Part of the revived living process is about engaging – where are you at right now – and creating a conscious or informed choice about what you are doing. No child can make a conscious choice about how they spend their time if they have no idea what they are doing with their time so I’m hoping this will be a positive first step.
At revived living I understand the pressures of wanting to being a good supportive parent and staying focused on me at the same time. The more relaxed I am the more relaxed I can be about what ever is being thrown at me. So if you’re in a dilemma about how you prioritize yourself against your family consider the benefits to everyone else in the family if you take an hour out of your time to do something that makes you feel good.